Saturday, November 14, 2009
Well, I haven't posted since Jackies birthday. We have been a little overwhelmed out here in West Texas. As you all probably already know, daddy was back in the hospital 2 weeks ago. He was there for 5 days and the doctors and social workers at the hospital talked to Jackie and I and thought we really should consider hospice. So that's what we did. He's pretty sick and in our minds we think we are preparing for what could happen but who knows if we'll be prepared or not. He knows he's very sick and he keeps saying he's ready to go. This is so hard to write but I feel I need to get it out at this moment. I am home alone and I don't have to pretend that everythings ok because it is NOT!!! I just want to scream...It's not just him that we are worried about, our mother is very sick too. She keeps saying she's ok, but I don't think she is. She just seems lost to me. I just wish I could take their pains away from them and bare them all myself but I can't. We prayed over him and told him it's ok if he needs to go and we will take care of mother and that we loved him and Brandy and Melanie came in and had their private moment with him and told him they loved him. Jesse got to come the first time he was in the hospital and see him, so I think he knows we all know what's coming. I would just like to ask everyone to keep him in your prayers and pray that he will just go to sleep and suffer no more. I understand that life goes on and God shows us that everyday. Even with all that is going on I still am able to have some happy moments. I will post Alyssas first school picture. She did so well the first six weeks. She's very smart just like her Aunt Brandy and her Grammy of course (ha). She is "Patriot" of the month this month. Her school mascot is the Patriot. I am still keeping Miss Prissy, that's what I call Lexi. If you don't know Lexi, you don't know what you're missing. She's like talking to a grown up. Her poor little head must hurt because I don't understand how one three year old child can pack so much info in her little brain. She can tell me on my 10 disc CD player in my car, which disc to play and what number each song is on and she can sing them too. She can go from Alan Jackson to Michael Jackson and never flinch. I just sometimes sit and listen to her when she doesn't know I am and she will recite books word for word from her "Tag Reader" and she doesn't even have it with her. I know I am bragging but isn't that what Grammys are supposed to do?
With every tear I shed I try to think of something to be happy about.
Always be thankful for the good things you have because they could be gone in the blink of an eye, do away with the things that are bad in your life so you don't get pulled down. Life is a gift. Take time and thank God for giving it to you and remember we are only here for a little while and then we have a better place waiting on us all if you want to go there. Everyone is welcome.
Happy Thanksgiving and God Bless you all.
"There is joy in the morning"